Tapped Line (honest confessions)

Watching the Sky

2012-01-22T22:13:00.000-08:00

The flood waters in Corvallis are finally receding. I've experienced earthquakes, tornadoes, blizzards, OSU Beaver games and other disasterous situations, but this was my first flood experience and here's what it taught me: Water makes things invisible. That's the scary part. You never know how deep it is, you never know how hard the current is pulling and how easily you could get swept away. You don't realize how quickly the ground is eroding and how fragile everything becomes. Concrete turns into creamy butter, dirt hills turn into a slippery slide, and gravel just sinks. It changes the entire landscape and makes all the streets that were once so familiar and safe look like wild predators and that is just freaky. When Mother Nature flexes her muscles, it's defnitely humbling. For all of our amazing technologies, we still can't compete with her. All we can do is blink up at the sky and wonder when the rain will stop.

Waterlogged

2012-01-20T14:04:00.000-08:00

Corvallis, Oregon is a flood zone right now. Seriously, half of this city is underwater. You don’t walk through the streets, you swim. And the rain is falling so hard, I’ve contemplated wearing safety goggles when I’m out in it, to avoid retina damage. People are sporting life jackets instead of vests. You could go tubing down the highway near my house.

When it rains this hard, it’s a perfect excuse to stay inside, read, and, of course write. I’m working on the third (and final) book in the Awaken series right now. When I wrote Awaken and Middle Ground, I knew the books wouldn’t end (technically). But this book will inevitably have to end, which is so sad to me. It's like ending a relationship with someone I really love which doesn't normally happen...

Meanwhile, FIRST COMES LOVE is approaching it’s release date. I was looking at other YA books coming out in May—most of them are sci-fi, fantasy or paranormal. Those are definitely the hot genres. I hope people notice my little realistic fiction story. Please don’t pass this one up. There are no vampires (not even baby vampires), no werewolves, no “Big Brother” controlling the world, no merciless villain. But, there’s still a pretty good story there. I promise.

More Tunes

2012-01-16T13:46:00.000-08:00

Here are two more songs from the FCL playlist (thanks to Eric Hutchinson and The Cure for creating such excellent ear candy).

Reminder: People, time is running out to participate in the Get Unplugged contest--you can win an advanced reading copy of Middle Ground (the sequel to Awaken). Learn all about it on my homepage. This is more than a contest, it's a challenge and it might be painful, it might be lonely and terrifying, but I believe in you. For those of you that have already submitted entries, I just want to say thanks. You are awesome in my eyes, you are brave and tenacious and persevering and many good things will come your way. The rest of you are slackers.

Now, on to the music:

9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.

Number 1: My Lie, THE WHITE BUFFALO (Sadly, I couldn’t find a copy of this song to share. Just look for it. It’s brilliant).

What People are Saying...

2012-01-12T13:41:00.000-08:00

I try not to read reviews about my books for various reasons, but friends have been pointing out a couple of reviews on First Comes Love that I wanted to share.

I'm terrible at describing my books, especially summarizing them, and I like these reviews because they discuss my book without giving too much away.

Speaking of reviews, here is a heads up: If you write a review, and it contains "spoilers," then guess what, you've overdone it. Back pedal (backspace) those spoilers away so you don't ruin books for readers by retelling the entire plot, Cliffnotes style. I think I speak for all readers and writers in the galaxy that we don’t want to know every plot twist, or how the story ends. Save a little room for wonder and mystery, (what we all eagerly look for from books in the first place). Thanks. :) I will now step off of my soap box.

So, here are a couple of bloggers that help describe First Comes Love. Kudos to these reviewers, and thanks for the cyber love. (Dylan and Gray thank you too).

INTO THE HALL OF BOOKS

LIVE TO READ

Gray and Dylan...Continued

2012-01-05T09:06:00.000-08:00

First Comes Love is coming out in approximately FOUR MONTHS. I wish it was four days, or four hours, but unfortunately I can't control time (yet). I'm hoping iPhones will come out with a time controlling app one of these days. I would consider purchasing a phone if they did. Or maybe an immortality app? That would be interesting.

Anyway, here is another interview question for Gray and Dylan, the two main characters of First Comes Love.

What was your first impression of each other?

Gray: Honestly? The first time I talked to Dylan, I thought she was mentally imbalanced. I was debating between heat stroke or mild schizophrenia.
Dylan: Thank you.
Gray: See what I mean? She thinks that’s a compliment.
Dylan: I try not to form opinions about people too fast, because they always surprise me, but the first time we met, I knew Gray had promising potential.
Gray: Thanks, coach. I’ll try not to let you down.

What's New:

2011-12-11T08:07:00.000-08:00

Middle Ground (Awaken #2) copy edits have been packed up and shipped off to Boston and I'm praying for their safe arrival. I don't have a confirmed release date scheduled for this book yet, but it's still looking at fall, 2012.

Now I have ample time to focus my holiday attention on: overeating, frantic shopping, NCAA basketball, NFL (mostly the Packers), and catching up on reading. Current book is The Strange Affair of Spring Heeled Jack, by Mark Hodder. I have given up my social life and sleep in order to keep reading it (as good books always force you to do).

Event coming up: I'll be at Klindt's Booksellers in The Dalles, Oregon from 1-3 pm on December 21st for a multiple author signing event. Be there or be lame.

Lastly, First Comes Love is coming out in LESS THAN FIVE MONTHS. It's still way too long away in my impatient head, but it's coming...

As promised, here are two more songs from the FCL playlist:

Number 7.

Number 6.

Number 5:

Number 4:

Number 3:

Number 2:

Number 1: My Lie, THE WHITE BUFFALO (Sadly, I couldn’t find a copy of this song to share. Just look for it. It’s brilliant).

Meet Gray and Dylan

2011-11-16T10:37:00.000-08:00

It depresses me that I have to wait until May, 2012 to share First Comes Love with all of you. Just for fun, I'm going to interview Gray and Dylan over the next few months, to give you a sneak peak into these characters.

So, Gray and Dylan, I have one question for each of you to answer to help readers get to know you a little bit: If you could write a book, any book, what would the title be and why?

Dylan: I would write a book called, “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, the Unabridged Version.”
Gray: I’m pretty sure that’s a classic children’s song.
Dylan: Yes, it’s a song—with gaping holes in the story. I would expand on it. There is so much potential there for an amazing epic adventure. Okay, your turn. Book title?
Gray: The Tao of Ms. Pacman.
Dylan: The video game?
Gray: Yeah, it would discuss ways the video game relates to life.
Dylan: What do the pellets symbolize?
Gray: All the experiences you devour, depending on which path you take. But just like the game, you have ghosts challenging you. They get in the way of your pellets. So, you can dwell on the ghosts, and miss the pellets, or you can focus too much on gobbling the pellets, but then the ghosts will eventually trap you.
Dylan: What do the bouncing fruit symbolize?
Gray: Opportunities.
Dylan: So, what about the pellet that makes you invincible? How does that apply to life?
Gray: I thought I just had to come up with a book title.
Dylan: I would argue that Donkey Kong has more life lessons implied in the game dynamics.
Gray: Dylan, I love you, but sometimes you put the n in annoying.
Dylan: There are two n’s in annoying.
Gray: Exactly.
Dylan: Well, you put the t in awesome.
Gray: What?
Dylan: Exactly.
Gray: (sighs).

MUSICAL COUNTDOWN CONT'D

2011-11-03T07:27:00.000-07:00

So, last month I shared the first couple of songs that inspired FIRST COMES LOVE. Now I'm adding two more, as I'll continue to do each month until this book is released. I can't believe I have to wait six more months for this book to be in print!! Ahhhhh, it's painful. I CAN'T WAIT FOR ALL OF YOU TO KNOW GRAY AND DYLAN. Okay, on to the ear candy:

Number 1: My Lie, THE WHITE BUFFALO (Sadly, I couldn’t find a copy of this song to share. Just look for it. It’s brilliant).

Number 2: To Be Young, RYAN ADAMS

Number 3: Such A Pity, WEEZER

Number 4: Mysterious Ways, U2

Number 5: Joy Ride: THE KILLERS

The Morph

2011-10-31T14:24:00.001-07:00

So...just a heads up, I will be morphing my "HOME" page on my website with this blog, since updating them separately is redundant and life is too short for repeats.

For any up-to-date information, keep coming here, to my blog, where I promise to post something remotely interesting at least once a month.

The home page of my website will list my books and any contests/giveaways, but otherwise will stay fairly uniform.

Cool? Cool. Thanks for understanding. And Happy Halloween. I am gearing up to watch Troll 2. I heard it's not even about trolls, so I'm intrigued.

Get Unplugged AND Tell Me About It

2011-10-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

Attention fellow readers. Earthlings. Peeps. Fans.

As many of you know, the sequel to AWAKEN, MIDDLE GROUND, is coming out in 2012. To celebrate, I’m hosting a contest and my challenge is simple:
Get unplugged. And tell me about it.

When I say unplugged, I don’t mean you have to walk around your house with a candle as your only light source, and cook food over a fire pit in your backyard (however, it would be very impressive if you go to that extreme). I’m saying, try to turn off your electronics for a few days, especially your phone, your computer (Facebook, email, online social sites) and yes, even your television (video games included).

Step 2: Tell me about it. Write a couple of paragraphs (no more than 400 words, please), describing your experiences. Were you bored? Lonely? Did you feel isolated? Did you have physical withdrawals? Was it liberating? Scary? Did your friends start planning your funeral because you hadn’t posted your Facebook status in twelve hours? Also, how long did you go unplugged? What devices did you avoid using? I know many of you are in school and need to use computers, but then try to turn your phone off. Leave it in your room for a week.

Why do this to yourself? 1) Because it’s a challenge and I double dog dare you, 2) Because MY THREE FAVORITE ENTRIES WILL WIN AN ADVANCED READING COPY OF MIDDLE GROUND, which means bragging rights and a copy of the book months before it’s released.
Also, with permission, I’ll post my favorite essay on my website.

To submit your essay, just cut and paste it into the “Contact” box on my website. Be warned: this is an honor system, which means I trust that your essay is a truthful account of what you did. So, please be honest in your response, because lying is just lame.
This contest ends March 1st, 2012.

Good luck! I look forward to hearing from you.
~Katie

FIRST COMES LOVE

2011-09-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

Since the cover of FIRST COMES LOVE has been unveiled and ARC’s are now circulating, I think it’s time to say a few words about this book.

FIRST COMES LOVE started as a creative writing exercise. I wanted to write a love story from the male perspective. What started as ten pages quickly turned into two hundred. I simply fell in love with my characters. I fell in love with their story.

FIRST COMES LOVE flips perspectives between Gray and Dylan, but really, this is Gray’s story. It’s his issues to work through. It’s his perspective on death, friendship, family, love, sex, and his struggle to move on and follow his own path. The chapters are set up as stages that I think are necessary in building a relationship: First Meet, First Try, First Challenge, First Listen…

This book is very setting driven. It could not have been written without Arizona, California and New Mexico (all the places you’ll be taken to). This book also could not have been written without the help of Bob Dylan, The Killers, Counting Crows, U2, and Ryan Adams (all referenced in the story, by Gray).

I need to point out, especially to my current readers, this book is very different from AWAKEN. My agent and editor both finished reading it and said, “We love this! But, where did it come from??” (They were expecting futuristic sci-fi). Well, just as I read many different types of stories and genres, I want to write all different kinds of stories. I want to write realistic fiction, sci-fi, fantasy…any random idea I get in my overly imaginative head.

The publication date for FIRST COMES LOVE is May 8th, 2012.

Performing Surgery

2011-08-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I finished my first round of edits for MIDDLE GROUND, and promptly celebrated with a beer at Flat Tail Brewery. How would I describe this book? Intense. Will I give you a sneak peak into the story? Sure. Here are ten words in the book (in this draft, anyway):

Chickens
Sandboarding
Mewling (love that word)
Detox (is that technically a word?)
Anonymous
Scrubs
Cacophony
Ninja
Precarious
Equinox

Have I peaked your curiosity? Now you're going to agonize over how chickens will play a role in this book and let me tell you, they play a HUGE roll.

Can I just say that rewriting is beautiful and wonderful and challenging and painful all at the same time? It's like performing open heart surgery on my characters (and I'm not the most delicate surgeon). There is so much to cut, rework, reconnect, disconnect, clean, swab...and great material can come out of it (fingers crossed). Each word is like a blood vessel, the sentences are veins, the paragraphs are arteries, the chapters are organs. It's bloody intense.

I'm sure I'll have about ten more drafts to go before I'm completely satisfied, but the major surgery is out of the way. Hopefully it's just some nips and tucks after this.

Autographs

2011-07-27T10:47:00.001-07:00

I'm getting requests for autographed copies of Awaken. Since I won't be taking an extravagant book tour this year (but hopefully next year), the best way to get an autographed book is through my local bookstore, Grass Roots Books and Music.

Simply order a book through their website and in the "comments" box, as you check out, specify that you want an autographed copy. I can also do personalized copies, just add how you want me to personalize it. If you have any questions, feel free to call or email the bookstore.

~Katie

I Like My Privacy, Thank You

2011-07-08T09:13:00.000-07:00

I was really bothered by an article I read recently, in Wired Magazine. It discusses a new social networking site called Hunch. It offers shopping recommendations after you sign in and build a profile and answer a plethora of questions ranging from odd to in-depth.

Here’s what bothered me: Hunch co-founder, CPO Caterina Fake, said that she hopes to use this site to “make technology more human” and it really struck a cord with me (a low cord, like an e minor). I’m sorry, but I find nothing human about sites that ask for personal and private information, then plug that information into an algorithm and turn around and push products on people (as well as probably sell personal information to other businesses and advertisers).

Hunch entices you to share information about your tastes, beliefs and experiences by turning it into a game and you rack up points they call banjos (why banjos?). Fake even admitted in the interview that Hunch will be a place where “You can’t stop and you don’t know why.” You call this humanizing? I call it a clever marketing ploy and it's advertised as "social" so people think they need to be doing it. One of their users apparently has 300,000 banjos. Wow. Wired hailed him like he was some kind of superhero. What is his superpower, lameness? If I met this guy I’d probably ask him how many sores he has from sitting all day long, and tell him he really needs to get out once in a while, maybe get a girlfriend.

I understand it’s fun to be involved in social networks, but it’s also okay to limit what people can learn about you online. It’s okay to limit how many profiles you have. The internet is scary because once it’s out there you can’t get it back.

And, I know this sounds old fashioned, but we don’t have to look online for everything. It can be a great source to turn to, but there are other places we can go for information. People can shop local and put money into their city’s economy (which means more money will be pumped back into their economy, into city parks and schools and libraries).

If people spent half the time volunteering in their own communities as they did browsing the internet, imagine the differences and impact we could make.

I really hope there will be a technology backlash. I don’t think it will happen until a hacker steals all of our identities and credit card numbers, but I think something’s going to happen.

That’s it. I’m done. If I was holding a mic, I’d drop it.

MIDWEST BOOK TOUR

2011-07-01T21:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, I need to compress that title a bit--it's actually just a Wisconsin book tour. I'm heading back to my roots in September to do a couple of book signings around the state. I wish I had time to branch out to other areas, but this is a quick trip home to see family, friends and hopefully a fan or two.

I would love to visit some classrooms while I'm home, especially around Wausau, Madison or Milwaukee. I used to teach high school English, and I love talking to students about writing and publishing (I'll probably mention my book as well).

If you happen to be a teacher, librarian, or bookseller interested in signing me up for an event in the last two weeks of September, just shoot me an email through my website.

Peace, love, and corn dogs.

MIDDLE GROUND is on it's way...

2011-06-12T20:47:00.001-07:00

Last week I was offered a book deal for Middle Ground, the sequel to Awaken and the offer has officially been accepted so now I can scream it: MIDDLE GROUND IS ON IT'S WAY!! I'm so excited I can barely contain myself to be typing this right now. I wrote the sequel last year and finished it up over the winter. Now it moves on to the editing stage. I'll have more news about the publication date soon, but for now I'm so excited to say that Maddie and Justin's story will continue.

Oh yeah, and I have to add, awesome win last night Mavs. I love seeing the underdogs rise to the top. DIRK, you are 7'2" of solid German awesomeness.

Interview with my Editor: Julia Richardson

2011-06-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

I've always been fascinated with what happens behind the scenes...whether it's with movies or music or even sports. A lot of people contribute to a book and I interviewed a couple people that have played a huge role in the publishing process of Awaken. Here's an interview with my editor, Julia Richardson, from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

1. How did you land a job working at one of the top publishing houses in the country?

The story actually begins about twelve years ago, when I worked at Disney/Hyperion. There, I met Mary Wilcox, another editor. Eventually, I went from Disney to HarperCollins. There, a job opened up that I thought Mary would be perfect for, so I suggested her for it. She took the job, and once again we were working together.

Fast forward a few years and now she’s working at Houghton Mifflin and I’m at Simon & Schuster. (People move around a lot in publishing.) In 2006, she called me to say a job was opening up at HM. They were looking for someone to launch a children’s paperback program. I had been working in paperbacks for many years at S&S under the tutelage of Ellen Krieger. This seemed like the perfect opportunity for me. So I went for it and here I am now.

2. What is a typical work day like for you?

I’m editorial director of the paperbacks group, so that means I spend a lot of time at my desk answering emails. Each one tends to be a problem that needs to be solved, so I’m consistently working with people to find solutions to whatever needs to be fixed. Once a week, though, I work at home. Here I try to stay away from email for chunks of time, so I can read manuscripts or edit or do whatever else needs to be done that takes my full concentration.

3. How many manuscripts do you read in a typical week?

Not as many as I used to. Probably one or two.

4. What makes you pass on a book?

If the voice doesn’t grab me in the first few pages, I’ll put the manuscript down. Or if I like a manuscript, but it’s too similar to something we’ve already got on the list.

5. What makes a book stand out to you?

An original voice. Plot points and grammar can be fixed. But the voice of an author has to come from inside him or her. So if a person’s writing voice doesn’t touch me emotionally in some way, there’s not much I can do about it. It’s like the “it” factor the judges always talk about on American Idol. You either have it or you don’t.

6. When did you know Awaken was something special?

As I read the first paragraph. It’s so evocative and thoughtful. I knew this book was going to be beautifully written and make me think.

7. How often do you take on debut authors? Is this a risky endeavor, or do you enjoy discovering new talent?

I tend to work with quite a few debut authors. Yes, it can be risky, but there are ways to mitigate the risk. And the potential is so great, it’s completely worth it. I love it!

8. You work in the children’s department at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. What makes you prefer this genre over other kinds of books?

I initially got into children’s books, because of how much I loved books as a kid. I wanted to pass that on to the next generation. But also, I really love kid’s books. I love reading about characters who are just spreading their wings, trying to find their place in the world.

9. Any advice for aspiring writers trying to get published?

Write! Writing is an art form just like dancing, music, singing, or any other art form. It takes practice! Remember the old joke: How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice! It’s the same with writing. How do you get published? Practice, practice, practice!

Thoughts

2011-06-03T22:07:00.001-07:00

I thought about U2 a lot today. I thought about some of their greatest hits, like Desire and Hawkmoon 269 and Bloody Sunday. I thought about Los Angeles and how my best friend Ryan and I never got tired of blaring Bono and singing at the top of our lungs while we twisted the car down Mulholland Drive. Music is kind of a like a time machine, it can take me back to the past and sometimes it propels me into the future. I haven’t been playing enough music lately. It’s making me feel skinny, a little malnourished as if music feeds me. So, I need to make a mix tonight and tomorrow maybe drive to the coast or find a dusty desert hill so I can pull over and sit on the hot rocks that bake under the sun. I’ll take my old manual camera with me and try to take some pictures of rusty train tracks or half-dilapidated farm houses and all these random eye sores that I think are so interesting. Maybe it isn’t the music I’m missing so much, more this constant need to be inspired. I think that’s it. For me, life is this endless search for inspiration.

German Book Trailer

2011-05-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with one of the coolest gifts I've ever received: a link to a German book trailer for AWAKEN. I'm a bit on the fence about book trailers--sometimes they're forced and lame and weird, but this one is just RAD and AWESOME and PERFECT and can I just add that the music, Chapel Song, by We Are Augustines, is currently my new favorite song?

Check out the trailer:

D-Day is Over!

2011-05-24T15:04:00.000-07:00

The debut day of Awaken has come and gone and it was emotionally infused with tears of anxiety and happiness (mostly happiness). Thanks so much to everyone that came to my book release party. Doing the limbo was really fun. Next year we'll try and have a break dancing contest and maybe some beatboxing.

People ask what I did during my release day. Well, I spent an entire hour in the marker section of Staples testing pens to autograph books with. There are so many crucial options to weigh: color palette, ease of ink, thick vs. fine points, comfort grip vs. non-grip...I decided on Bic markers (purple and red) because I've decided that "Bic" must stand for "Bodacious ink cartridge," which is all I could ever want in a pen.

Later.

Is AWAKEN a series (or was that just a really cruel ending)?

2011-05-17T22:04:00.001-07:00

Okay, I've received numerous comments asking, begging, pleading for a sequel to Awaken. One reader even offered me her first born for a sequel. I hope she was kidding.

Just to set the record straight, YES, there is a sequel! I never intended to end the book with Awaken (hence the "open" ending). Maddie and Justin's story definitely isn't over and...it only gets better! I will post more information about the sequel as soon as details are finalized. Until then, sleep well my friends. There is more of Maddie and Justin on the way.

Publishing Jitters

2011-05-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

Man, if I graphed the emotional roller coaster ride I am currently living, it would look like ocean waves, lots of rising and falling. I thought getting published would be this euphoric state of perpetual bliss and it's more like having a bi-polar disorder.

I'm trying to distract myself. I bought the new Lonely Island cd which has provided hours of much needed laughter. I saw Fur last night and that was definitely not a bucket of laughs. Way too deep for my mood. I immediately replaced it with the Family Guy Star Wars trilogy and my husband and I played this ridiculous game of throwing socks across the room into our laundry basket. Yes, we amused ourselves for an hour playing a random version of sock basketball, I'll call it socketball. It makes folding laundry surprisingly fun.

I'm currently working on organizing a book tour so I can meet my readers, my peeps, and some of my cyber pals. I'll be posting any events on my website as they're finalized.

8 MORE DAYS. *air high-five*

Time to Dust Off the Blog...

2011-05-13T19:13:00.000-07:00

10 MORE DAYS UNTIL THE RELEASE DATE OF MY DEBUT NOVEL:

Yo. It has been years since I've blogged. I started this blog up four years ago as a place to vent, to inspire and to discuss writing, but, I got extremely sidetracked working on Awaken and other projects. Now that my book is being published, I'd like to dust off my contribution to the blogosphere and use it as a place to keep in touch with my readers (and also to vent, inspire and probably discuss writing).

I deleted most of the posts that used to be on this site, but I left a few on just to give you some glimpses into my mostly random personality.

For now, keep an eye out for Awaken. It's coming out May 23rd. Just to warn you, it might sell out at your local bookstore. I highly recommend camping out in the parking lot the night of the 22nd and lining up at the entrance just to make sure you get a copy.

It's currently available to buy online, if you simply cannot wait ten more days.

Yurtin’, Murtin’ Furtin’

2008-06-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks back my friends and I rented a yurt on the coast of Oregon. I’d never heard of one and thought my friend was messing with me when she told me they’re a cross between a teepee, a shack and a tent. Apparently their architectural design is Mongolian. I wasn’t sure what to expect out of my yurt. Would there be huge cobwebs? Would it smell like dog urine? I’m willing to try anything once (except maybe lamb brains) so I agreed to go in on it. I even decided to cut loose and not bring any Lysol or other anti-bacterial spray. (okay, I’m kidding)

Obviously, from the picture above, we bonded with our A24 yurt in Beverly Beach, OR. It’s like sleeping in a giant home-made fort. I highly recommend it.

Music: The Ultimate Cure for Writer’s Block

2008-04-09T08:00:00.001-07:00

When I get stuck in my writing there are three things I do: Go running and listen to music, go driving and listen to music, sit still and listen to music. In other words, music is where I find my inspiration and muse. It stirs thoughts in my head that become stagnant and makes images pop up behind my eyes as if a movie is playing in my head. As I’ve dedicated much of my time lately to writing, here are some tunes that repeat on my playlist:

Close to Me—The Cure
Cupid—Amy Whinehouse
The Zephyr Song—Red Hot Chili Peppers
Get Buck in Here—Ludacris, P. Diddy
Homecoming—Kanye West
Beloved—Minnie Driver
I Feel it All—Feist
How to Save a Life—The Fray
New Soul—Yael Naim
Unsingable Name—Mike Doughty
White Lexus—Mike Doughty
Time is Running Out—Muse

Monday Quote:

2008-02-04T07:32:00.000-08:00

“The world is not respectable. It is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever; but it is shot through with beauty, with love, with glints of courage and laughter; and in these, the spirit blooms...”
-George Santayana

Jealousy—it Happens

2008-01-31T08:13:00.000-08:00

Jealousy’s a waste of time. The ironic thing is while you’re jealous of someone, someone else is jealous of you, so why not cancel each other out and just be happy with what you have and be happy for others? Not so simple, I know.

I find myself jealous of the most random things in life. Most people are jealous of money or status or jobs or looks.

I get extremely jealous of people that have clean cars. Don’t you use them? Don’t you throw your crap in the backseat after work and watch the crap pile up until you’re forced to give someone a ride home and they call you out on what a slob you are? Don’t you drink coffee on the way to work while you drive and spill it all over the stick shift and dash board? Don’t you stop at the gas station and get a bag of Doritos and as you eat them the crumbs fall between the cracks of your console and your greasy fingers leave orange-speckled spots on your steering wheel? Don’t you throw your c.d.’s on the floor that constantly get scratched and skip and you kick yourself every time but you never learn from it? Don’t you leave a Diet Pepsi from Taco Bell in the beverage holder and it slowly leaks through the cardboard cup, which you forget about, and it leaves a gooey residue all over the plastic holder that you can’t really clean out because it’s molded to your car? Don’t you leave half of a Kit Kat bar in its wrapper and it melts one summer day and eternally lodges itself into your seat upholstery? Don’t you people live?

The State of the Environment:

2008-01-30T08:23:00.000-08:00

Here are some powerful words spoken by President George W. Bush in his State of the Union address on Monday night. Reflecting on his seven year term, here is what he has to say about the state of our environment. His thoughts are in italics, my responses, slightly cynical, are in parenthesis:

Let us fund new technologies that can generate coal power while capturing carbon emissions. (What? Put money into the environment? What a crazy idea!)

Let us increase the use of renewable power and emissions-free nuclear power. (Okay, how exactly?)

Let us continue investing in advanced battery technology and renewable fuels to power the cars and trucks of the future. (That’s right, because you’re totally against investing in oil companies.)

Let us create a new international clean technology fund, which will help developing nations like India and China make greater use of clean energy sources. (That sounds super, when do you plan to actually do this?)

And let us complete an international agreement that has the potential to slow, stop, and eventually reverse the growth of greenhouse gases. (It’s called the Kyoto Protocol and you neglected to sign it, naughty, naughty, Bush.).

Yes, let us do all of those things Bush. That sounds super. Now put your happy thoughts into action. That would be super too.

Coffee Shop Scrutiny

2008-01-29T08:13:00.001-08:00

I was in a coffee shop yesterday and these women kept laughing and it was really irritating. Every time they all cackled, I looked over and glared at them. Then I contemplated how pathetic it is to be annoyed with laughter. I must have a problem. Maybe I just wished at that moment I was sitting with a group of close friends and sharing a secret laugh.

Then I noticed this young couple sitting at a table kiddy-corner to me. The blond girl wore a pink shirt, held a pink phone, drank out of a pink water bottle and I’m willing to bet was wearing pink cotton brief underpants. She also had on little pink rime stone earrings. I don’t know why, but this also irritated me. She kept petting her boyfriend. Not patting, or poking—petting him like he was a velour blanket or a puffy stuffed animal. That really annoyed me. Then I thought, am I getting annoyed by the sight of love? How cruel is that? I must have a problem. Maybe I wished I was sitting with a boy so I could pet him and wear girly colors and feel cute. No, I think I was just craving solitude.

I turned up my music louder to drown out the distractions. Rise, by Eddie Vetter filled my ears and I wanted to paint the lyrics on the walls because they make sense to me.

Then, a girl sitting at a table across from me, reading a book, a half empty plate of pasta in front of her, met my eye. Her dark eyes were warm and friendly. She seemed to give me a look of understanding, like, “Yeah, people are annoying; first you love them, then you hate them, and then you love them again.” I agreed with her eyes.

I looked around the coffee shop walls and noticed some incredible paintings, bright and colorful, that contrasted the drab sky, the gray and wooly clothing people wear in this town. I noticed how refreshing that burst of color is. And those are the things I should really focus on, right? The bright colors, the kind eyes I meet on occasion.

Finally, I noticed this squirrelly woman get up and move three times. Three!! She had this great seat by the window, her own observation deck. And she moved nearer to the barista station, which is loud and distracting. So then she moved again to the very center of the room. I thought, hey, at least I’m not the only one in the room who’s rarely satisfied.

MONDAY QUOTE

2008-01-28T09:10:00.000-08:00

"What is simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is."
~taken from the song Lua by Bright Eyes.

Why is Everything Voice Animated Now?!

2007-12-11T07:49:00.000-08:00

Seriously, you can't talk to anyone anymore. I feel like I'm living in a really bad sci-fi movie starring Heather Graham and Matt LeBlanc about voice animated robots taking over the world. Why is everything voice animated?! I can't stand it. Pretty soon 9-1-1 is going to sound like this:

Hello, you've reached the 911 automated fire emergency directory. Please choose from the following options. If you need an option repeated, press star. Press 911 at anytime to return to the regular menu.
-If you are currently burning alive and need medical attention, press 1.
-If you think there's a chance your house can still be saved from the scorching flames, press 2.
-If you started this fire from a lit cigarette you tossed on the carpet, hit your head against a cement wall 5-6 times, and press 3.
-If the fire is out of control and you think your local television news could catch some great footage, press 4.
-If you could run into your house right now and save three things, what would they be? Write a 2-3 page essay and send it to 911 for a writing competition. For more information, press 6.
If you are not satisfied with these options, call your local fire department so they can assist you. Have a great day and thank you for calling 911.

Pretty soon we're all going to have automated voice messages on our cell phones. Mine will go something like this.

Hi, you've reached Kaz's automated answering directory. Please choose from the following options:
-To pay Kaz a compliment, press 1.
-To invite Kaz out for drinks, your treat, press 2.
-To invite Kaz to a movie or out to eat, your treat, press 3.
-To remind Kaz of what an incredibly amazing person she is and how much she’s impacted your life, press 4.
-If this is Dane Cook, asking me out on a date, press 5.

Something like that…anyway, write your own voice automated directory message sometime. You may laugh at me now, but it's coming.

Long December Night

2007-12-05T08:16:00.000-08:00

We got in a fight last night and it was terrible. Why do we get in fights about the stupidest things? Last time it was over a chocolate chip cookie. This time it was over a Christmas tree.

I took Graham downtown and walked around, looking at holiday displays in the store windows. I thought it would sooth my mind, but I didn’t see anything. I saw anger and hurt and frustration slamming me in the face. The warm rain only invigorated me, instead of cooling me down. It made me feel like steam, like exhaust, like the sidewalks around me were melting.

I came home and walked upstairs and sat on the bed. I closed my eyes and pictured plate tectonics. I saw converging plates, fault lines, fissures and cracks, sheets of rock. Maybe it’s how I felt inside. Jarred, cracked, a little sharp.

I walked downstairs and noticed how dirty the carpeting is. How does it get so dirty? We take our shoes off before we come in the house. Why are there black clumps of dirt everywhere? Then I remembered I have a dog.

I sat on the couch downstairs and looked at the red wall in front of me. I blinked at the mantel, covered in garland and white lights and the three stockings that hang over the fireplace. I closed my eyes and pictured home. I pictured my parent’s house, which I won’t see this holiday. I won’t be there to see the tree, usually fat at the bottom and bare in spots and always perfectly layered in large, colorful lights with presents packed underneath. I won’t be there to drink a glass (or two or three) of Baley’s in the living room with my Mom. I won’t eat cookies until I want to vomit and wake up with a sugar hangover. I won’t be there to sit in front of the fire at night and watch Home Alone, or The Christmas Story, or Christmas Vacation, or Rear Window, or To Catch a Thief or all of the above. I won’t see the snow and how it frosts the branches of the trees and hangs like confetti over lights outside. I won’t take walks at night to look at Christmas decorations and breathe the icy, cold air of winter.

I opened my eyes and I thought about Los Angeles, which is soon calling me, and the rain, which I love and the ocean so close I can almost see it from my window. And I felt really empty. The cracks and fissures inside me grew larger. And something sad poured in. And it’s strange because sometimes when I’m the saddest I feel the most alive. Maybe it’s because I know these moments have to happen, because the bad times wake you up to appreciate the good ones. I guess.

Monday Quote

2007-11-12T07:47:00.000-08:00

"It's not that I'm incapable of love it's just that I see love as odd as wearing shoes."

I must have found this line appealing after a really bad date. It's written by beat poet, Gregory Corso. I highly recommend going to his website below and reading the full poem, “Marriage,” as well as the short poem, “Last Night I Drove a Car.”
http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/poets/a_f/corso/onlinepoems.htm

Legally Blind

2007-11-08T07:40:00.000-08:00

I have really bad eyesight (I think I'm legally blind) so I have to wear glasses. But something I love doing is taking my glasses off at night and driving around. I probably shouldn't confess this to the Oregon DMV when I apply for my license here.

Things look so majestic with blurred vision. Green, red and yellow traffic lights look like glowing fuzzy cotton balls suspended in mid-air. Street signs become floating canvases of light. Headlights shoot by me like comets. I follow a black asphalt abyss because I can’t see the lines or boundaries. Everything is soft, muted, smoothed over. I don't know what the point of this entry is. Maybe it's to encourage all of us to embrace our imperfections because what we lack in some areas creates beauty in others. I think it's by distorting the obvious that you see the incredible. I also hope I don’t drive off the road in these circumstances.

Pencil This In

2007-11-05T21:35:00.000-08:00

As 2008 approaches, I have to buy a new daily planner. I find this particular errand stressful. Do you ever shop for a daily planner and get really overwhelmed with the realization that you're purchasing one year of your future life? Who will I meet, where will I go—this will all be revealed in the pages I’m about to buy. That's pretty amazing when you stop to think about it.

My problem is I always have morbid thoughts when I buy a daily planner. I think things like, What if I die before I use it all? Wouldn’t it be a waste of money? I also think I’m jinxing myself. Isn’t it vain of me to assume I’ll be so overwhelmed with social engagements that I’ll need to write it all down or I’ll forget? What if I’m never invited to anything? My planner will only exacerbate what an unpopular, unloved social outcast I am. I'll open up my planner in public and people will see it and think, “Aww, that girl has so many blank lines in her planner, especially during the evening and weekend spaces. Doesn't she have any friends?” Or, when I open up my planner next to a friend to compare weekend plans, hers will be packed with events—some even starred and highlighted. Meanwhile, mine will have one or two random reminders, like, “time to cut those nails.”

I put a lot of time into picking out the right planner because I'm superstitious that its cover will somehow directly affect the overall year I’m going to have. I don't know why I believe a little notebook I buy will enable that kind of power, but has it been tested? If not, it should be. For example, I don't want to get a girly planner with a kitty cat and rainbows on the cover, or my whole year could be obnoxious and stupid, filled with social outings like “stamp party” or “knit a hot pad lesson” penciled in. I don't want a daily planner that has a happy quote on every page, or I might feel bad writing something down like: go out drinking with girls tonight because I hate my life and men are dicks. If I can't be honest about my daily happenings, what's the point? On that note, you don’t want to write down really personal things incase you forget your planner at work and someone opens it up to see you’ve reminded yourself to: “price pregnancy tests online,” or “call about the results of STD test.” Ugh, it’s all so frustrating.

Does anyone else ever think this much into buying a daily planner? Probably not.

Trees Can Paint

2007-11-01T23:03:00.000-07:00

When Adam regales me of his day, I tend to zone out because it usually sounds something like, “Today I looked at the effects of water velocity on the attachment rates of a parasitic spore to salmon…”

Yeah. Fascinating. But today, he told me about a woman he heard speak at a conference that even caught my short attention span. Nalini Nadkarni, an environmental studies professor at The Evergreen State College in Washington is combining art and science to motivate everyone to care more about the environment. More specifically: trees.

People say trees don’t move. As if by taking away movement, we dehumanize them. To make trees look less than human makes it easier to bulldoze over thousands of acres every day. To illustrate that trees are living, breathing beings, Nalini discussed her experiment of tying a paint brush, dipped in green paint, to the branch of a Douglas Fur. She let the wind move the branch around and paint brush strokes on a piece paper for a couple minutes. Then, she took measurements of those strokes, calculated the number of branches and needles and estimated that this single trees moves over 180,000 miles in a year.

This is just one of the many innovative ways she is trying to give nature a voice and make people appreciate and respect the environment. What I love about this message is that by combining science and art, she gives nature a human side. In English class we call this personification—to give human characteristics to non-living things. But the point is, trees are living things—we’ve just been taught to ignore that. If everyone followed Nalini and took their own passions to a creative level to reach a larger audience, imagine what we could accomplish. It takes people like her to make a difference. I think we should all make tree branches paint for a day and then hang those pictures in our homes and offices. How beautiful would that be?